Now, before I start on this whole thing let me first say a few things…
- I don’t care what you do. It literally does not affect me whatsoever, there is absolutely no judgement here. I am neither for, nor against the strip club.
- Let me also state that I am aware that my husband had a life before he married me, and before he was a married man he surely had a different mindset, as most bachelors do. I am sure his buddies took him to the strip club for his bachelor party, and no that does not make what I have to say in this post any less relevant. He is no saint (but he is an absolutely amazing man and an even more amazing husband).
- My final preface to this post is that I am sure this will be countered with comments of “I go to the strip club WITH my husband, it’s fun!” Again, do your thing! If that is your “thing” you do together, while I really don’t understand it, it is none of my business.
Bottom line: Do you, boo boo.
This post is about one thing, a truly terribly trend I am noticing when it comes to the “strip club” conversation that happens between women, wives in particular.
Any time I am involved in a conversation about this, I am met with more resistance to my moral standpoint than acceptance and empowerment from my fellow females.
Here is the conversation that sparked this realization, it was actually a conversation that happened between myself and a bride-to-be a few years ago:
Her: “…so I went out with my girls and he went to the strip club with his boys!”
Me: “I would be so livid with T if he ever went to the strip club, there are no excuses for that.”
Her: “What?! Loosen the leash, you gotta let him have some fun!”
I “gotta let him have some fun”?
I gotta “loosen the leash”?
Something is not right with that. That thought process is not normal. So here is my question:
Does the problem lie in the fact that I don’t approve of my husband going to the strip club, or is the problem that your husband wants to go in the first place?
Let me say that in my relationship, I don’t ask T permission to do anything and vice versa, it’s just not necessary. What makes it unnecessary?
We have respect for each other, and we trust each other. The two go hand-in-hand and by that I mean that I TRUST my husband to RESPECT me.
Take a step back and ask yourself a question. Does it make you a “controlling wife” that you don’t allow your husband to go to the strip club, or is the real issue that your husband actually WANTS to go look at another woman’s naked body?
Call it what you will, all I hear is a stance on respect for yourself as a woman and a wife.
Go ahead, tell me I am just hyper-jealous and insecure. Tell me I am “no fun”.
I’m just saying, millennial wives seem to constantly see the wrong problem when it comes to this issue. I have had more women tell me that I need to “let him do his thing with his boys”, than lift me up and empower me to maintain that respect for myself and my marriage.
Then there is the part of the conversation (no matter how brief or extensive it may be) that really makes some women gasp.
When I say, “T just wouldn’t feel comfortable to go and be in that environment.”
You know what is so sad, more times than not, I get this reaction to that statement: “HA! Yeah…suuuuure he doesn’t want to go.”
If you are a wife that finds it outlandish that a husband would choose NOT join his buddies at the strip club, than I truly feel sad for you. I recommend taking a step back and re-evaluating your relationship.
It is honestly heart-breaking that some wives are forced to feel this way, that they have to accept the fact that their husbands idea of a fun night out is being surrounded by other naked women.
They cope with that feeling in the pit of their stomach by telling themselves they are ‘fun wives”, but are you really having fun?
Let me reiterate again that this post is not about bashing the strip club, anyones profession, or the things you like to do with your husband and friends on a Friday night. This entire post has nothing to do with my confidence levels, T gives me all the confidence I need.
So avoid the fight with your husband about the strip club and just let him go, I will sleep just fine knowing my naked body is the only naked body my husband sees.
Ladies, stop pointing out the wrong problem. Empower one another.