On Saturday, March 3rd, 2018 at 3:32 PM our sweet Wyatt Thomas Sellers was born.
I can’t believe he is here. I look at him and pray that I don’t wake up one morning and find that this life I have been living over the last week has been a dream because gosh it feels like one. I didn’t think it was humanly possible to love something this way. The only way I can put it into words is by saying that it is as if my heart is now outside of my body and somehow I continue existing.
On March 3rd, 2018 at 3:32 PM, my heart left my body and took the shape of my 6-pound, 13-ounce baby boy. This is Wyatt’s birth story!
(PSA: this is gonna be a long one and semi-graphic one)
My entire pregnancy I struggled with high blood pressure which was making my placenta work extra hard and therefore it was starting to shit the bed on me which would eventually become unsafe for little Wyatt and myself. Therefore, at my 39-week appointment, my Doctor scheduled an induction to happen Monday, March 5th. Tyler and I were over the moon to know exactly when our son would be born. We planned to spend the entire weekend together, for the last time, as a family of two. We were going to make a big breakfast Saturday morning, watch movies, sleep in, and just prepare for our life to change forever. Well… the little man had other plans.
Saturday night we had my parents over for dinner where we let them know that they would have a grandson by Tuesday at the latest. The entire night it felt like my hips and pelvis were on fire, I could barely stand. I couldn’t take a step without pressure and pain. All-in-all, I just felt off but attributed this level of discomfort to the fact that I was simply a thousand months pregnant. We went to bed that night at around 11:00 and I couldn’t sleep. Why? Every 10 seconds I was getting up because I felt like I had to pee (seriously, every 10 minutes no lie). Also, at one point, on my way to the bathroom, I almost collapsed because the pressure from my pelvis was so intense. Each time I would go to the bathroom because I “had to pee so bad”, nothing would happen. I just chalked it up to the pressure on my bladder which I had been dealing with since about week 30 of pregnancy.
At 1:45 AM I felt what I can only describe as when you feel yourself “get your period” followed by a HUGE gush of fluid. I started saying, “oh my god, oh my god” to myself as I leaped to the bathroom in about three bounds but at that point, my pajama pants were completely soaked. I sat on the toilet, smiling, in complete disbelief and just kept saying to myself, with tears in my eyes, “oh my god.” We were having a baby today. I don’t even think I put any new pants on before I ran and woke my husband up who was initially incredibly confused but eventually realized what I was saying.
“Babe! My water just broke!”
I wish I could bottle up the feeling I had when I realized my water broke and told my husband, it is a moment that I will look back and smile on for the rest of my life.
I promptly called my Doctor who said congratulations and told me that since I wasn’t having major contractions yet, to labor at home and to head to the hospital at around 6 AM. So, being the woman I am, I took a shower and got ready for the “day” which was now 3:00 in the morning. I’m talking makeup, hair done, the works. Why? One of my favorite bloggers said that it made her feel more “human” throughout the labor and delivery process. However, it was during this time that the contractions started which felt really just like menstrual cramps (I know that is how everyone describes contractions but it is true, there really is no other way to explain them). They would build and build, hit a point where I had to bend over and take a few deep breaths…then I would go back to applying my mascara.
Thennn, the contractions started getting a little bit closer together, roughly 5 minutes apart and they were getting stronger. We live about an hour from our hospital and once my husband caught me bent over in the bathroom breathing pretty heavily he made the executive decision that we were not waiting until 7 AM, we were leaving immediately.
We grabbed our hospital bag, kissed our sweet pup, and took one last look around the home we only knew to consist of the two of us and our dog.
Thank god we left when we did. Had we waited any longer I’m talking even a minute past when we actually left, the car ride to the hospital would have been horrendous. The car ride to the hospital was long but Tyler, my sweet, sweet Tyler, kept me as comfortable as possible. We listened to Howard Stern cuz he knew it would make me laugh and he kept a close eye on how much time was passing between contractions. We were down to 5 minutes apart to the minute. I noticed that each time we got close to the 5-minute mark, he would reach over the center console and grab my hand. The contractions were gradually getting worse but nothing unmanageable. I honestly had no idea how down to the minute contractions are, I am talking literally every 5 minutes to the second one would start again.
We arrived at the hospital at around 4:30 AM and got checked in. At this point, the contractions were still about 5 minutes apart but they were much, much worse. The first place we went was triage where I peed in a cup, had my blood pressure checked, and got into a gown. The first thing the nurse did was check to see if my water actually broke.
I was like, sweetie if that wasn’t my water that broke at home then I don’t need to be here I need to be in the emergency room because whatever happened in my pants at home is not normal.
They test with a little piece of PH paper and if it turns blue then it means you passed the test! To my complete disbelief, the little paper didn’t change color which the nurse said can happen so they test another way. This was horrifically painful. They take this giant Q-Tip and stick it in your incredibly sensitive bajingo and then they have to swirl it around for a minute. This was the longest minute of my life, oh my god it hurt. Plus I was super irritated because I KNEW my water broke so this just felt unnecessary. She then sent the Q-Tip down to the lab to be tested and then promptly checked my cervix. Again, terribly painful for the same reasons I mentioned above. I was still 2 cm, about 80% effaced and -1 station aka Wyatt was coming.
Once all of this was finished it was about 5:30 in the morning and they started my IV. At this point, the contractions were closer together and super painful but honestly nothing I couldn’t manage. They popped me in a wheelchair and off we went to our giant delivery room. It was here that I had my first BIG contraction, the kind they say “take your breath away” and make you incapable of speech. Before I got out of the wheelchair to get in bed I had to really grip the hell out of the arms of the chair and just breathe. In hindsight, I would say this was still not so bad. I focused hard on picturing a roller-coaster. When the contraction started I just pictured going up and up and when it got so bad that I almost couldn’t stand it I started seeing myself coming down the hill. This visualization really, really helped.
Once I finally got settled into the hospital bed I started to feel pretty nauseous in between contractions so the nurse gave me something called Stadol which was basically something for the pain before I got my epidural. Um, this did not work. All this did was make me so so dizzy, it took my already intense nausea to the next level and I think the nurses felt pretty bad about it. My Doctor then came in to check me. At this point the contractions were pretty bad and coming pretty close together I would say every 2-3 minutes. Again, when she checked me, I thought I was dying. Honestly getting checked at this point in active labor was worse than the contractions, just a heads up ladies. My Doctor looked at me in disbelief because apparently in the span of 2 hours I had gone from 2 cm and 80% effaced to completely effaced and 7 cm. She said that the reason I was feeling so nauseous is that I was progressing very quickly and was heading into “transition” (the final phase of active labor).
Now for those who follow TBBB you read my blog post about how if my platelet count was below 100 I could not get an epidural. I was literally freaking out at this point waiting for my blood work to come back. They say that childbirth is a “miracle” and a “gift from God” and while this is more than true a second miracle occurred on this day. My platelets were at 109.
Hallelujah, praise the Lord, get the anesthesiologist in here immediately
A thought that haunts me: Had little man decided not to show up early and we had to wait until Monday to be induced there is no way my platelet count would have been above 100.
I noticed that the nurse was starting to get really antsy about when the anesthesiologist was going to arrive. Apparently, she was in ICU with another patient which was why there was a little delay in getting my epidural. I found out later from my amazing and incredible nurse that she was scared the anesthesiologist wouldn’t get to me in time considering how fast I was progressing. But she eventually showed up and we got going!
After getting my epidural and getting comfortable the nurse brought in a “peanut ball”, put it between my legs and had me lay on my side. This is supposed to help open up my pelvis and really let the baby continue to slide down the birth canal. I was then able to fall asleep for a few hours. My sweet husband didn’t close a single eye and take a nap, he stayed up and watched me the entire time. I felt so bad for him because I knew he had to be exhausted. He’s an angel and my rock.
At around 11:00 AM I woke up to the nurse adjusting Wyatt’s heart rate monitor because apparently, his heart rate was dropping. This scared the everloving shit out of me. They put an oxygen mask on me and told me that the epidural can do this sometimes. About a half-an-hour later the nurse came in and started some Pitocin because my contractions had started to level out and they wanted to give me a little “push”.
I woke up again at around 1:00 PM and threw up. I think it was just a combination of all the medicine and initial nausea I was feeling. After that, the nurse checked me again, gave me a smile and said,
“Guess what? You’re complete!”
I don’t know if I was just delirious but I didn’t understand what that meant. I knew it maybe meant I was the full 10 cm dilated and fully effaced but what I didn’t realize is that this meant I could start pushing soon!
I got so freaking nervous about this that I was going into full-blown body shakes. I think it was my adrenaline skyrocketing combined with my nerves but I could not calm down. Again, Tyler was right there by my side with encouraging words, kisses, and reassurance that I could do this. Once again my fear of the unknown was taking over, I didn’t know what pushing was going to feel like, how it was going to happen, nothing. I was so scared.
About an hour or so after getting the news that I could push the nurses came in and got me all set-up on the stirrups. The nurse had Tyler on one side holding one leg and she was on the other. She quickly explained to me how to push, to hold under the back of my knees, curl my body over, take a deep breath, hold it in and push for 10 seconds like “I was taking a big poo.”
I pushed like this for about 20 minutes before the Nurse told me she could see his little head! To my surprise, Tyler watched the entire thing. I was so happy that he did and so was he. The Nurse pulled over a mirror so I could see too.
I remember during my pregnancy making jokes saying, “Tyler babe, you stay above the knees I don’t want you seeing anything that’s going on down there!” and when someone would ask if I wanted a mirror my response would be, “Absolutely not!”
It’s interesting what happens when you are about to give birth, something in your mind just turns on and suddenly everything you thought you never wanted to see is your driving force.
After pushing for about 45 minutes I was fading. Not only was I absolutely exhausted but things were starting to hurt down there. By hurt I mean I was starting to get an intense burning sensation. Something interesting about the epidural, it completely numbs your insides but to the touch on my hoo-ha I could feel everything, every time the Doctor did something I could feel it which is why I could feel this burning sensation. It was at this point that I was starting to tear, something I didn’t realize was happening in the moment. I started to give up. I was crying. I looked at my husband and told him,
“I can’t do this anymore.”
He looked me in my eyes and told me,
“Yes, you can baby, just push.”
There is something about my husband’s voice that gives me so much encouragement. I started to pull my legs closed because it hurt so bad but the Doctor, very kindly, looked at me and told me “One more big push and he is out, I promise!” I gave it everything I had. I push so hard and at 3:32 PM on that beautiful Saturday afternoon I heard the cry of my son for the very first time.
I looked down between my legs and there he was, my slimy and perfect little boy. I couldn’t believe what I just did, that after so many months of waiting for our little boy to arrive he was here. They immediately wiped him off and put him on my chest and all I could do was cry and stare. He was beautiful.
My husband was crying, giving me kisses and I realized that every other “perfect” moment in my life was mediocre compared to this.
They then took him away to check his vitals and things with Tyler standing over him watching his every move.
Something happened to me that day, something I will never be able to explain or put into words. In that very instant I felt my life gain so much more purpose than I ever thought imaginable. As I held him to my chest I thought to myself that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for him, there is no mountain I wouldn’t climb or ocean I wouldn’t cross if it meant giving him everything he ever wanted and needed.
So that is how Wyatt Thomas Sellers came into this world and forever changed ours.