Photo cred: Stefanie Morris || Instagram: @SMMphotog
I’ve been very anxious about leaving our little “baby bubble” we’ve created over the last 3 weeks (oh my gosh he is 3-weeks-old wehhhhh). My husband went back to work last week but prior to that he had two weeks of PAID paternity leave. I know, I pushed that little monkey out and he gets the paid paternity leave. Anyway! It felt very safe and comfortable living in our baby bubble just me, my husband, our son and our pup. But my mom gave me a call last week and said,
“You and your husband are going on a date it’s important. We’re coming to watch the rugrat”.
My parents have been very big on making sure that Tyler and I remember that before little Wyatt was here we were a married couple first and we need to make sure we don’t let that come too far second. So this past Friday night my parents came over, completely excited to have some hours all to themselves with their grandson, and we took off for dinner and a movie.
I have to admit I really enjoyed “getting ready” for the evening because it had been so long since I got really dolled up. I was very excited to find that I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans again and the way the “twins” were looking wasn’t bad either (thank you supply! My very patient husband is still waiting for the “week 6 green light” from the Doctor so right now we’re on sort of a look but don’t touch thing…poor guy haha)
Anyway! I never thought I would be “that mom” but when my parents arrived they were greeted with hugs, kisses, and a laundry list of instructions all of which took me 2-minutes to explain to her in person. She could tell how anxious I was to be leaving but made me feel very reassured that everything was going to be alright. I squeezed our little peanut, gave him a thousand kisses, and we were out the door!
All-in-all it was an amazing evening, one that I didn’t realize we needed so badly until we were out. It was nice to just be us for a few hours. Not saying we didn’t miss our little man literally every second, but it was nice to just let our hair down and enjoy each other. We went to dinner, had a few drinks, then went to a movie complete with popcorn and a Diet Dr. Pepper (I know that is oddly specific but it’s a tradition we have, I don’t think we have ever been to a movie where we didn’t get these two things).
I think I handled our first night away from our son pretty well. I did find myself feeling guilty for a moment, having that feeling like I was maybe doing something irresponsible or that I should be home with him. But, I shook that pretty quickly and remembered that he was being taken care of and that we truly had nothing to worry about. I gave my more than capable parents all the instructions they could need, I pumped before we left, and had pretty much everything prepared should the apocalypse happen before we got home.
So, if you are a new mom or a soon-to-be mom, here are my tips for surviving your first night out away from your newborn without acting like a total psychopath.
Make it as stress-free as possible
I knew we were going to do dinner and a movie but based on the time my parents were getting to our house to watch Wyatt and when the movie started we weren’t sure if we would have time for dinner before the movie. Although that was “the plan” I told my husband I didn’t care what we did when we didn’t need to follow a schedule tonight! It worked out that we were able to do dinner before the movie but we were prepared to stray from our plan if it meant less chaos or stress.
Do something you like to do, not something brand new
I knew I would be a little on edge as it was so I didn’t want to plan to do anything that would be “new” for us. Instead of trying a new restaurant or buying a Groupon for something we’ve never done before, we went to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner and then walked over to the movie theatre we have been going to for years.
Try not to talk about the baby
My parents biggest tip before we left for date night was to try not to talk about the baby and we did a pretty good job! We only talked about him briefly and instead we really just caught up with each other. We exchanged stories, funny memories, and future plans for our family and for us personally. It was such an amazing night.
Have a cocktail and relax
I had to keep reminding myself that it was okay to have a cocktail or two or three or even four if I wanted! My son was more than taken care of and there is nothing wrong with letting loose a little with my baby daddy.
Know that if something is wrong, whoever is watching the baby is going to call you
Another huge bit of advice is to remember that if something is wrong with the baby you’re not going to be left in the dark about it. Therefore, if I was to call and text my parents every 30-seconds to ask how it was going the answer was always going to be the same, “everything is great!” I had to trust that if something was wrong, my parents were going to call me. SO, if there is no call…all must be well!
Remember that you two were a couple before you were parents
There would be no Wyatt…if first there was no Tyler and Casey. And there would be no Tyler and Casey if there was no time for us to be a couple together and that means date nights are necessary. We spend every day as “mom and dad” and now it was time for us to be “Tyler and Casey” the married couple.
Try not to feel guilty for enjoying yourself, it is okay and you deserve it!
For the first hour of date night, I had this internal battle with myself that I was doing something wrong and irresponsible because I was away from my son enjoying myself. Finally, I told myself to shake this feeling and went through a mental checklist with myself: I pumped, I took our frozen milk for him, my parents knew where everything was to change his diapers, my car keys were at home in case they had to take him anywhere, they know how to use the car seat, and finally they know how to love him.
Date night was a huge success. To all the new parents out there debating on whether or not its appropriate to take time for yourself as a couple all I have to say is this:
You would not be holding that tiny little bundle of love if first you did not love eachother. So go out, enjoy some good food and drink, hold hands, makeout, and be in love. I know if Wyatt was old enough he would be so happy to know how much his Mommy and Daddy love eachother.
What are some of your tips for the first date night out away from your newborn? Where did you go and what did you do? Comment and share your story!