The word, “Grown Up”. When you’re a little kid you think a lot of how you will be when you “grow up”. Well, now here I am. Legally, according to the state of South Carolina I am a grown up. But geez, I still feel like I am growing up little by little every day. My twenties were incredible. I fell in love, got married, got pregnant, bought a house, miscarried a baby, graduated college, got a big girl job, sold our house, got pregnant again, built a house, and had a son. Whew. When I type it all out, blessed doesn’t even describe the way I feel. However, with all of that comes so many lessons. Real, serious, life lessons.
Here are a few things that my twenties taught me, realizations that will shape the way I enter my thirties.
You are the only person holding you back.
I have talked about this before in a previous blog but this was seriously the absolute 100% biggest realization I had in my late twenties. For so long I was just going through the motions and talking about the things I wanted to accomplish. Specifically with my blog. I had this incredibly ridiculous mentality that unless my blog was going to blow up over night, I was not interested in pursuing it. I know, that is ridiculous. I guess I just kept making excuses for why I “didn’t have time” to work on it and since I “didn’t have time” why even try? I was busy with my job, I was moving, I was pregnant, blah blah blah. Finally it just hit me, “well Casey, you want to be successful in this? Doing nothing isn’t going to get you there.” Stop complaining. Stop blaming literally everyone and everything around you for where you are in life, you are almost 30, time to take charge. Enough with the excuses you’re not getting any younger sister friend.
Don’t be a quitter.
This goes with my previous realization. I have absolutely zero patience and I don’t want to wait for anything. When I want it, I want it immediately and I don’t want to have to put the work in (I know that sounds terrible to say but when it comes down to it I will admit I have an incredible work ethic). So, when I was faced with a task or a project I always looked at the finish line first…then the work and time it would take to get there…get overwhelmed…and quit. I am completely in charge of my future and what happens with my goals and all this ambition I have to accomplish them is completely up to me. So if I quit, I was the only person I was quitting on. It’s like this, if you made a promise to a friend, a promise that you would do something, would you just…not? So why is it so easy for us to break promises to ourselves? You’re almost 30, take some responsibility for YOUR life and what happens with it.
Don’t compare your life to everyone else’s highlight reel.
Social Media makes it very easy to think that your not doing life the right way. I was so tired of thinking that my life was a flop because I didn’t have X,Y,Z like “so and so” did. My life is perfect exactly where it is and how it is. You’re almost 30, don’t let social media define you and your journey, be proud of where you are in this moment.
Guess what, if you don’t want to be friends with someone anymore you literally do not have to be.
This was something that sort of hit me like a ton of bricks. Regardless of current relationships, past relationships I just got tired of the one-way street relationships. I was putting SO much effort into planning dinners and things just so I could say I was still friends with so many people in my life. I was almost 30 and any free time I had in my life I decided to start dedicating to the people that made ME a priority and the passions that I made a priority for myself. You’re almost 30, it’s okay to walk away from relationships that are not right for you.
Stand up for what you believe in and don’t alter your opinion just to fit someone else’s thoughts or narrative.
For example, my best friend IN THE ENTIRE WORLD and I could not have more different opinions when it comes to politics. Something I love about our relationship is the amount of respect we have for each other. What I respect about her and what I know she appreciates about me is the fact that we will never catch each other just saying what the other wants to hear. You are almost 30, have a genuine thought in your brain, it’s a lot cuter than not having anything to say at all.
Be it or become it, whatever needs to happen.
What I mean here is this: if you want to change something in your life whether it is with your home life, your job, your relationships, your hobbies, whatever! Then do it. Start being that person or starting taking the steps to become that person. I am currently on a mission to be the absolute best version of myself and I am learning day by day what that means to me. It’s so funny to think about. If you want to change something in your life you are quite literally the only person in charge of that. So, start being that person or start becoming that person.
Stop living by everyone else’s timeline.
Don’t want marriage and babies yet? Okay, cool. Still single? Girl, take advantage of this solo mission you’re on. Just because everyone else in your life is getting married and having babies does not mean you’re doing something wrong. That is THEIR path not yours. I remember when quite literally everyone I knew was buying a house. I remember the anxiety I had frantically looking for one because I felt like I was behind in life. How ridiculous is that. You’re almost 30, a long way from the grave (God willing), so take your time, travel, sleep in, have a Saturday night in bed with Pizza and Grey’s Anatomy marathons. Your time is coming.
All of this to say, girl do you. Whatever that means to you. Just do it. Be it or become it because you deserve happiness.
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