My first year of Motherhood taught me a lot and honestly the biggest thing it taught me doesn’t even have anything to do with actually “Mothering.” What I learned is that everyone has a lot of opinions…a lot of opinions. I am not innocent in this either, I myself have had my own opinions on the choices other Moms make. Now, I bet I know where you think this post is going to go and no, that’s another post which you can read here. See, if you read that post you will see I am not innocent in this game!
I’ve learned that this whole “raising a baby” thing is not as black and white as I thought. There is a ton of grey area and sometimes I feel that I am my own absolute worst critic of the choices I make for my child. I immediately compare what I am doing to what social media shows me Karen is doing for her child. So, if I am following that same mind set then, no, I am not making the right choices for my child because I am not doing what Karen does who, for whatever reason, I have deemed a “better Mother than I am.”
So, whether you are a brand new mom or you have a dozen kids here is what I have to say to you…
For the mom who has trouble nursing but can’t switch to Formula because “Formula isn’t as good as breast milk.”
For the mom who nurses but wants to switch to formula but can’t because if she stops she “won’t have a good bond with her baby.”
For the mom who puts her baby in the crib right away but being there is “an increased risk of SIDS.”
For the mom who co-sleeps with her baby for nursing convenience and is “selfishly putting her babies life at risk because co-sleeping is dangerous.”
For the mom who doesn’t like to let her baby cry, and is “not allowing them to learn how to self soothe”.
For the mom who chooses to let her baby cry it out but needs to stop because “cry it out is detrimental to their nervous systems.”
For the mom who can’t afford organic fruits and veggies and what she gives her baby is “full of harmful chemicals”.
For the mom who chooses to only give their child organic fruits and veggies and is, according to some, “one of THOSE moms.”
For the mom who chose to vaccinate their child but has now “filled their baby with even more harmful chemicals.”
For the mom who doesn’t vaccinate their child and is “putting other children at risk.”
For the mom who has zero pain tolerance but “shouldn’t get an epidural because they are linked to Autism.”
For the mom who chooses to have a natural home birth and is putting their baby at risk because “what if something happens and you’re not at a hospital?”
For the mom who gets massive caffeine headaches during pregnancy but doesn’t have a sip of coffee because “caffeine of any amount can stunt growth and development.”
For the mom who drinks a cup of coffee each morning to avoid headaches and is “careless during pregnancy.”
For the mom who works from home and needs to sometimes put their baby in a bouncer but can’t because “using these convenience devices doesn’t allow the baby to explore and grow.”
For the mom with an office job who needs to keep working but if she doesn’t stay home with her baby she is “not putting her family first.”
As you can see…you just can’t win. You can’t make the right choices for your child if you try to please everyone else.
For the Mom who doesn’t know which side of these multiple fences she lands on, I am here to tell you that whatever you choose to do with your child IS OKAY.
According to pretty much everyone, you’re never going to make the right choice for your child if it is not what THEY would do. The only way to ensure that you have made the right choice for your baby is to make it YOURSELF. Trust your gut, listen to your instinct and make the choices that are going to be best for you and your family.
Whatever you choose to do for and with your child is YOUR decision and as long as at the end of the day that baby is healthy, happy, and most importantly loved…then you’ve made the right decisions.