I have been going through a lot lately. Not necessarily all bad things, just a lot. I am now a stay-at-home mom of an increasingly more active toddler. I was recently let go from a work-from-home contract job for reasons out of my control leaving me without a job and our family with one less paycheck. After months and months of planning, strategizing, and researching I finally launched Bloom Social Strategy + Branding (my other baby). My blog is absolutely exploding and I am working until all hours of the night on content and partnership opportunity. I have been going through a grueling, so far, 6-part interview process for a position at an incredible company that would be absolutely life changing for me professionally and potentially financially.
Needless to say, I have been bearing the weight of all of this and I have not been the “social butterfly” that I usually am. I’ve been a true hermit and I have been thinking that SURELY my friends have completely wrote me off as someone they want to hang around with.
I’ve thought to myself, “I know I really should text so-and-so but I am just not in the mood for a conversation.” Better yet, I have received text messages from friends and just straight up haven’t responded. I have bailed on plans more times than I can count for one reason or another.
Sometimes I don’t text back because I am just exhausted from my day or other times I don’t respond because my kid is crying and requiring my attention. I have to say “no” to plans sometimes because I can’t think back to the last time my husband and I went on a date and frankly, I would just rather go to dinner with him on a Friday night than go to a bonfire or something with a bunch of people. Sometimes I need to bail on already made plans because my son has mega diarrhea or an ear infection or both. Sometimes I need to bail on plans because those plans sounded good on a Monday and come Saturday I just want to sleep in and not change out of my PJs.
It’s in moments like these as an adult that you need low maintenance friends. You need friends that don’t care when you text back, or if you do at all…they know that you love them. You need friends that invite you to things even though they always know you’re probably not going to be able to make it. You need friends that don’t question you when you unexpectedly can’t come to the party because your kid is giving you grief. You need friends that don’t talk shit about you when you’re not around because you’re not there to defend yourself. You need friends that don’t questions “where you’ve been all week”, they are just happy to hear your voice. You need friends that don’t say things like, “wow, she lives!” after you finally have a moment to text them back or call them on the phone.
It becomes increasingly more important as an adult to cultivate friendships that are low maintenance. Friends that don’t require much, or an explanation for everything.
I have several girls in my life that I see very, very rarely but when I do see them or talk to them it’s easy and simple. It’s not uncomfortable. I don’t feel like they have been bad mouthing me to everyone in town because I haven’t been as available as they’d like for me to be. They just get it. They are low maintenance.
So I say to these gals in my life (there are many many more that aren’t pictured throughout this post), thank you. Thank you for continuing to invite me to the party. Thank you for texting me memes in the middle of the day even if I haven’t responded to the first round you sent me, trust me I saw them and they were hilarious. Thank you for calling me just to ask how I am doing. And thank you for accepting my apology for being a ghost and telling me, “shut up you don’t need to be sorry I get it completely!”.
Ladies, moms, wives…these are the friends you need in your life as soon as possible, friends that just…get it.